[x]

2012As I sit here and look back on the year,
Reminiscing on times that have disappeared,
All I can come up with is that I'm sorry,
And I just hope that I can grow from these stories.

In 2012 the world won't end, but mine almost did,
I submerged to the bottom, I withdrew and hid,
But somehow I emerged stronger,
And I've learned so much, my weakness no longer.

I have good intentions, I swear I do,
I never meant to hurt you, that much is true,
But just like everything in life,
We evolve from our pain and strife,
And as I stabbed you with this double sided blade,
Our personalities have been remade.

To everyone that I've caused pain,
By these hands

The Road Ahead (Poem)

These tears from my eyes have never fallen in vain
They're a sign that in me, your kingdom still reigns
That you're still working in the depths of my heart
Embedding that fear that sets us apart

That fear that brings us to do the right thing
That fear that motivates us to glorify our King
That fear that prevents us from living in sin
That fear of God we lost, when we let rebellion move in

I'll be the first to admit, It's not easy to walk on a straight line
While sin constantly tries to exploit the weakness in our minds
Thinking we will never get caught committing crime after crime
With deaf ears we hear and we see with eyes that are blind

For a man diesBreathe Slowly,
For a Man dies every second, locked in the grip of the sky.
Walk with every step in mind,
Every twitch of a finger,
Every sound, from your head to the ground,
Keep them in mind.
For a man dies every second, the beginning of an eternal dance with the one in the heavens.
Remember every follicle of hair,
Every eye that stares, every moment of fear,
An evil glare, remember it all.
For a man dies every second, and a child cries for his death.
Live today like you'll wither the next,
For we too, can be locked in the reaper's grip.

Unconscious Epiphany.Unconscious Epiphany.

I thrive and depend on your compliments

And it is only then as a direct consequence,

Am I truly able to write with confidence.

Even though your words are only temporary.

I deem your contribution as utterly necessary,

In order to refresh my wavering, selective memory.

My own validation depends on your approval.

Whether it is congratulatory or discouragingly brutal.

Your input is the one thing that is most crucial.

Can I call myself a writer if I don't believe in myself?

When I constantly seek approval from everyone else?

How can I then expect to make any sort of wealth?

Of a craft and skill I still think any

goodbyewhat did i do
i miss you
i love you

miss you

i should have tried harder
reponsibilty was mine
and mine alone
i should have been stronger
for you
i dont place blame
i only place it on myself
i desire forgivness
but i dont deserve it
i miss your voice
i miss your laugh
finding myself will be hard
without you near
if we meet again
know that i will always miss you
even through harsh words bandaged in pain
i wont forgive myself

WeaknessI lay my head down to sleep,
Always hoping I never wake.
I walk blindly across the street,
Praying drivers make a mistake.

I am naked in a blizzard,
Shards of ice pierce my heart.
I am numb to joys I never knew
My insides have been torn apart.

I am lost under the sea,
Lungs screaming, miles from air.
I fake a smile and pretend to hear
But I am deaf, a mask I wear.

I stand on lifeless stony ledge,
Below I sense the water's hunger.
I cannot force myself to jump
And yet can't stand pain any longer.

Remember MeRemember me when I'm gone
Rejoice not in the end
But in the beginning of a new time
A time with nothing but the memories of me

Don't be sad my friend
My oldest, dearest companion
Everything that exists had a beginning
And must at one point cease

I do not know where I will go
Yet I am sure I will not linger
Do a service to my path laid out ahead
Tarry me not in my completed task

I might wrestle with an angel among the heavens
Or I might lead unto nothing
Of this nothing is certain
Aside from the inevitability

Remember me when I'm gone
My dearest, oldest friend
Know that in your heart I am prepared
Only your longing traps me

Warped MentalityI’m hearing voices
Inside this empty room
They’re just a whisper
About as clear as murky water
And the ceiling,
It projects the darkest shadows
Sending a scream down my spine
And I’m most certainly not alright

(Chorus)
This cold reality!
Its creeping up the walls
Its so invasive!
When I scream, there’s only silence
This warped mentality!
I’ll just pretend it isn’t real
A nightmare in the flesh
I’m dreaming before I rest
This warped mentality!

I’m seeing specters
They’ve been projected from the chalkboard
A violet phantom
Tipping over my void hourglass
I know its not a lie
Because I don&r

The freedom of wordsWhen you open a book,
You are transported to another galaxy,
And everywhere you look
There are stories full of fantasy

The words on the page
Liberate you from your cage
And you can finally be free
No longer bound to reality

You may be lost at sea,
Navigating through treacherous debris
On a quest to discover
The treasure that will fulfill your destiny

You may hear a terrible scream,
Assist to a murder scene,
Meet an undercover agent
Or uncover a corpse in your basement

One moment you’re gliding through the air on a hot air balloon,
The next, you’re on a trip to the moon.
You can be a queen in a mystical place
Or rather a soldie

ApocolypseIt's all over the news.
Something...
Bad
will happen.
Very soon.
I don't want to beleive it.
None of us want to beleive it.
It's madness.
I know.
But in the back of my mind,
I know,
I'm the mad one.
I know.
I go to the window.
It's almost instinctive.
And as I look out,
I know.
It's here.
People running,
screaming.
It's all there.
Like a cliche horror film.
Tornados,
Eartquakes,
Solar Flares,
The works.
I know it's futile,
I know.
But I pack up and run.
I want to survive.
But I know.
I won't.
I know.
I won't ever survive this.
The Apocolypse.
As I run through the streets.
I don't look where I'm going.
I see the building.
I know.
It crumbles before me,
And as it hits me,
I know.
The last thing I'll hear is my scream...

GoodbyeHere I am, it seems I'm torn.
Within my heart a poem's born,
Because I still wish to try.
It's a hope my spirits lift,
In our great story, there's a twist.
Today I don't want to say goodbye.

But goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

I used to sit alone and think,
All my loneliness, for me to drink.
My dreams scattered, and left to die.
Without a warning. You walked right in,
Pushed me off my throne, and made me grin.
Without moving my lips, I say goodbye.

But goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

Now it's time, that I'm wanting more
Instead of seeing you walk out that door,
I hold my heart, and simply cry.
Standing under a golden arch,
Seems love is not m

If only...

If only life could be so gentle
Like that of a riverbend
If only life could be so gentle
And not a barring end

If only love could be so sweet
Like that of the tender moon
If only love could be so sweet
Rather than a stabbing harpoon

If only laughter could be so loud
Like of the ringing bell
If only laughter could be so loud
Then an angel could hear the sound

If only hope could be so close
Like a knocking at the door
If only hope could be so close
Instead yet nevermore

If only such things were to pass
Like a soft tick of time away
If only such things were to pass
And never remain to stay

UnderstandI hope that,
one day,
all...
will be clear.
I hope that,
one day,
You...
will realise how...
I feel.
I hope that,
one day,
you...
will understand...
that...
I love you.

ErrorsCold breath on my purple lips,
The sensation touches my ears’ tips
Echoes of dead roses in a fierce-some gloom
My sorrow follows me as though it’s in full bloom
The open air levitates my still form
The coldness shocking me like a magnetic storm
I lay lifeless, colder, stiller, than my skin an icy blue
Spread out as to catch this morning’s dew
The mist is like a comforting blanket
My head, stripped of innocence, a blank planchet
Waiting to be stamped by my failures
Rather than face my sneering errors
Can’t I stay here, to be kissed by memories?
Ladled out from the stagnant pool of the centuries
Soothing fingers stroke

Guardian AngelCome save me from my past
I didn't know it would strike so fast,
What have I done?

Don't leave me here alone
I don't think I know my way back home,
They're coming for me.

Please don't let me go
I don't want to feel, don't want to know,
What's left of my life....

You said you'd keep me safe.
You wouldn't stray too far
From me in the fight.
You said I wouldn't fall,
But now I'm hurt and broken down,
Where have you gone?

I doubted you when you spoke the truth
Now look what they've done to you.
How could I put you through so much worry?
Would you even hear me if I told you "I'm so sorry"?

Browse More Like This

Download File
HTML, 618 bytes more ▶

Featured in Groups:

#written-from-within
Written From the Soul

#darkclub
In Dark We Trust

#ThePoetryofDA
DA Poetry Club

#poetry-book

#Writers--club
A group for all writers!

#dA-Literature
Write to live, and live to write

#Unseen-Writers
For the writers and readers

#iWriteToInspire
We Write To Inspire.

Show all (29)

Details

Submitted: December 9, 2012
File Size: 618 bytes

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 30
Favourites: 9 [who?]
Views: 324 (0 today)
Downloads: 3 (0 today)

[x]

Last breakfast

by *MartinSilvertant, Dec 9, 2012, 9:01:10 PM
Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Traditional Fixed Forms

As I sat there at the table on my own,
I was waiting for a moment of peace
I was pondering my existence to be;
What I could expect after I decease
I took another sip from my cup of tea
And my mind sank into the unknown…

The light in the room dimmed down
As a shiver ran slowly down my spine
And I felt the darkness coming near
I breathed no longer but I felt just fine
The cold parlour floor caressed my ear
As I laid there in my morning gown…

Last breakfastby *MartinSilvertant

Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Traditional Fixed Forms

A poem about death following the A-B-C-B-C-A construction.

Critique by !Know-It-Like-A-Poet Dec 23, 2012, 7:53:08 PM

This rhyme scheme you chose was unique and had an excellent flow and transition of thought without sparing meaning for the sake of rhymes.

There is a feeling of a well developed narration telling many details of a story with simply two stanzas. By extension that also says you have chosen each word to sentence carefully.

The vocabulary is very common and simple, not nebulous. It has strength.

Death is a complicated and mysterious topic which has made it one that has been burnt to the ground in many perspectives just like the topic of war. This is different though because your angle on it is not necessarily to prove any point and it doesn't even have to be death occurring in its interpretation.

The way you described her fall was good. A specific detail is in the second stanza when her ear 'caressed' the parlor floor. And '...a shiver ran slowly down my spine'.

Personally another positive aspect of this poem is by the fact that I wasn't fully aware of what was really happening until the last words. This was not like many other works I have read where my mind wanders or dies along the way when reading someone's writing.

There was hardly a weak point I could see in this. It has the feeling of a well skilled narration. I liked it.

What do you think?

Fair Unfair

The Artist thought this was FAIR

1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

4 Replies

Devious Rating

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact

Critique by ~GXTAS Dec 10, 2012, 6:30:13 PM

It's a very thought out piece that I could see what you were depicting beautifully. A common image but it goes so much deeper with the feelings of what's happening to the individual.

I've personally never heard of the use of a common image in this way which had a bigger impact.

Then when you feel the air stop, it just feels like anyone reading this is actually in it. And you continue that I felt just fine plays a little on fears enhancing on the visual.

This is the first I've attempted to critque, and I'm sorry if this feels extremely cheesy. I enjoyed reading Last Breakfast.

What do you think?

Fair Unfair

The Artist thought this was FAIR

2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

2 Replies

Devious Rating

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

~cskadoz Feb 5, 2013 General Artist

way cool read!

voice tone rhythm rhyme! i enjoy the irony; happy rhythm yet dark subject

*MartinSilvertant Feb 6, 2013 Professional General Artist

I don't think that's irony, but the contrast is certainly interesting. I didn't even notice that, actually. Thanks for the comment.

*ThePenVsTheSword Feb 5, 2013

I like how the place where the person is is unknown. At first I thought it could be in a prison cell, but perhaps it's a man sitting in his house and is aware of his impending death.

*MartinSilvertant Feb 6, 2013 Professional General Artist

What I had in mind was a woman sitting at the table in her living room early in the morning. I think she has been ill and she knows this will be her last morning but she's ready to die. I consciously didn't use any gender-descriptive words though so the poem could be interpreted freely. In fact, while writing it I placed myself in the scene a few times instead of the woman, to kind of "feel" if it makes sense regardless of gender.

Thanks a lot for the comment.

*ThePenVsTheSword Feb 6, 2013

That's the best thing to do. Placing yourself in the role I mean. Helps you get the emotions and thoughts down better.

You're welcome.

~thecrazymagnet Jan 20, 2013 Writer

Hm. You asked me to critique this poem, but after going over it several times and reading the points that have already been made, I don't think I have much more to add. That said, I do have some small things!

I'm curious as to why you decided to use so little punctuation in this piece. Stylistically, leaving it out can be effective, but in this particular poem there's no reason to avoid it as far as I can tell. That lone semicolon really stands out; does it need to stand out? Just something to think about.

Also, I agree with Know-It-Like-A-Poet: that description of the fall is gorgeous. My only note there is that you use the word "down" twice in two lines. There's nothing disastrously wrong about that, but if you can think of an alternative it may be wise to use one.

Those are my only real criticisms on this piece. Overall it's beautifully understated and very effective.

*MartinSilvertant Jan 20, 2013 Professional General Artist

Thank you very much for the feedback. As for the lack of punctuation, I suppose it's an old habit of what I used to think poems were supposed to be. Now you mentioned it, the semicolon certainly stands out and I think I will punctuate the poem like I would a proper story.

The double 'down' didn't actually occur to me before but it's rather obtrusive to me now. Is there anything you would suggest to replace the second 'down'? 'Descends' sounds forced, doesn't it?

~thecrazymagnet Jan 20, 2013 Writer

My pleasure. I think many of us suffer from what we 'learned' about poetry in high school.

I agree, "descends" isn't quite right in a poem with such bare vocabulary. My best suggestions are "through" or "along." Even though they sacrifice directionality, each of them fits the style of the poem and keeps the flow fairly well.

*MartinSilvertant Jan 20, 2013 Professional General Artist

I thought 'along' would be perfect but when I tried it, it didn't seem right. Obviously 'down' is the best option linguistically but the repetition is really obtrusive. I will have to think about it, or just leave it as it is. What do you reckon is the better way to go? Contextually better language or structurally better flow?

Punctuation has been added in any case.

~thecrazymagnet Jan 21, 2013 Writer

Those ellipses definitely add something. As for context vs. structure, my personal preference is usually towards keeping the meaning rather than aesthetics. In this case, though, it could really go either way.

More from *MartinSilvertant

Featured in Groups:

Details

Statistics

Last breakfast

Last breakfastby *MartinSilvertant

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

The Journal Portal

Polls

What is your preferred drawing software?

deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]

Keep in Touch!

Deviousness

Add Media

Style